“Yes, all of that was real, and it happened within a week,” I’m still trying to convince myself, as I sit here at Jeff and Pete’s dining room table.
The Omen (well, the first one I’ll write about): the two-hours spent on the runway in Atlanta, waiting to take off for Washington D.C. After finally arriving late, fighting a horrendous taxi line, and sleeping 45 minutes at the hotel, I met up with Peter, the producer, and Kate, the associate producer, and we checked our ten pieces of luggage for the multi-legged flight to Simferopol, Ukraine. Friday morning: we were psyched about a cool shoot – in a ship on the Black Sea, with the guys who discovered the Titanic wreckage.
Leg One: A nice flight to London, each of us with a whole row on the plane.
Leg Two: Another fine flight to Moscow, but a nearly-impossible terminal transfer could have been the culprit for much of the chaos that would follow…
Leg Three: Business class in a small jet to the Ukraine. All that was left was an hour-and-a-half drive to the port town, Sevastopol. Counting bags at the carousel is always a demanding task on these shoots… Okay, one, two, three… Hmmm. I’ll go ahead and say that even to this moment, our clothes bags are all I’ve seen since we left D.C. Six hard cases of gear (including all of the sound gear owned by Pete and me) and a Magliner-style cart vanished.
At that point we figured it would show up on an upcoming flight, so we finally took the van ride into Sevastopol and checked into a quaint hotel. Obviously, the first problem was that we had no sound gear or tape-stock. But, we learned that Erin, the camera guy, was also stuck at an airport in a far-off land.

Making a friend in my hotel bathroom.
So we had half of Saturday and all of Sunday to hang out (and unfortunately not shoot) in Sevastopol, which is a cool town – lots of waterfront, a huge market… Erin arrived late Sunday afternoon – with only part of his gear. And of course, none of ours had arrived. Still no tapes or sound gear, which means yet another “day off.” At some point, it was determined that Flora, the associate producer in the Nat. Geo. office, would take an emergency flight to bring us tapes and back-up sound gear. Kate would meet her at the airport to get the gear, and she’d stay there to fly back the next morning. Apparently, the airport hotel was a sketchy no-go, so… Party in Sevastopol! Flora, Kate, Erin, and I stayed out probably a bit too late, considering both the commencement of our shoot and the morning flight, but hey – communism is dead!

Me, Kate, Flora, and a little bit of Erin.
The majority of the shoot would take place on a NATO ship called The Alliance, where Bob Ballard was conducting his current research. We would be transported out to The Alliance via a five-hour ride on The Flamingo, a smaller boat that was able to come to the port. We would sleep on The Flamingo as well. On par, that Tuesday morning, we heard that The Flamingo would not make it to Sevastopol until late afternoon – so another shoot day down the drain. About mid-day, Flora reported that her plane ticket home did not exist, so she’d be back to beloved Sevastopol while we were on the ship. And, unknown at the time, she’d remain in the Ukraine until we left. I won’t even bother with the part about our near-loss of a camera guy two hours before launch (not his fault, and by “near-loss” I DON’T mean he almost died)…
Time to pinch ourselves – we were boarding The Flamingo on Tuesday evening, leaving two days to shoot. It’s maybe a hundred feet long, with a lower, middle, and upper deck. We found a nice spot on the upper deck to put our sleeping bags during the overnight journey to The Alliance. There is something awesome about sleeping under the stars, bobbing up and down with the waves, in a place you’d never expect to be.

Erin, me, and Peter - boarding The Flamingo.


Wednesday… To get from The Flamingo to The Alliance, we had to take a pretty fun ride in a small, motorized raft. Boarding The Alliance, our first shot tape fell right into the sea, and in goes Erin to rescue it – with a Leica camera and brand new iPhone in his pockets… Again, all of this was fitting. The day of shooting was pretty normal – a description would pale in comparison to the rest of the story, except for one detail… Suddenly, we discovered that the next day, the president of the Ukraine would board the bloody Alliance and take up most of Bob’s time.


Thursday… The second – and last – day of shooting. We spent most of the day just lounging around on The Flamingo, watching the president’s boat go out to The Alliance. Finally, leaving about four hours of the day, we were able to board The Alliance and “finish up” with our shoot. As we went back to The Flamingo, I think excitement about the fast-approaching end to our epic overshadowed the nervousness about how little material we had been able to acquire. The next morning, we’d sail back to port and hit the road for the airport.

The crew, totally enthusiastic.
The smirk on his face gave away the joke when a head of The Flamingo’s scientist team calmly said that the engine room was taking on water, and that the captain was freaking out. However, the “joke” was a little more convincing when a Ukrainian crew member ran up from the lower deck, yelling, “Everyone! Get your life jackets now! Form two lines!” And yes, even, “Women first!” I was so amazed and amused that I just stood there and took a couple phone photos, until a woman from the lower deck physically led me to the last remaining life jacket.
We were actually abandoning ship. AMAZING. Like a scene from the Titanic, but perhaps less annoying, we were rafted in loads to a rope ladder hanging from the deck of The Alliance. Yes, I said “rope ladder.”
You get the idea. This was the icing on the cake. SOS.
Let that soak in for a minute. Would we make it back? All we wanted was to get back to shore and fly home. We already knew that rebooking tickets back had proved to be a bit of a challenge…

Flamingo on left, Alliance on right.
The abridged version: A tugboat finally pulled The Flamingo (with us), back to Sevastopol overnight, while a water pump kept the flooding under control.
Really, the trip back was smooth. We all expected something to happen, but nothing did… We took a short hop to Kiev, where we spent the night in a cool hotel – after hitting the town with Flora and Erin, of course. Walking along the river on a super-seedy boardwalk and shooting airsoft guns at cans at an even seedier carnival booth at two a.m.? Check. I guess that’s Kiev. All that remained was a flight to Frankfurt and a final leg to D.C. No problem. Then on to a fun-filled day of fighting the jet lag with Flora.
I’ve had a relaxing time here in D.C. and almost forgot… Where in the world is all of our gear, worth so many thousands of dollars? Please leave information in the comment box.
Worth it? For me, yes - it’s an experience. But, I can’t speak for anyone else.
Spasiba.